A Fool's Lament

Am I moving toward futility?
Am I my own worst enemy?
Will I continue to ruin all that is good?
Discard the values for which I once stood?
My mind once clear, my resolve intact
Now I drift and a sense of direction I lack
Her trust she gave me freely and sure
And like a fool, I tossed it on the floor
Have I reached the point of no return?
Or will she again offer the gift I spurned?
What a fool to toss a gem into the dung
Or cause a beautiful song to be unsung
She stood by my side and gave me her heart
Her devotion to me was steadfast from the start
When troubles and doubts made me crack
She assured me that she’d always have my back
Why did I allow the worm of selfish deceit
To burrow within me and cause me defeat?
My weakness is great and I have no reason for pride
Because the oneness of trust, my lie did divide
This woman was the best thing that happened to me
And my selfish act of shame may cause her to flee
Forever more I’ll curse my wretched and evil lie
That caused this woman I love to sorrow and cry
I’m not a man of honor, deserving to be respected
When covering her back was an honor I neglected
I lost her trust and I caused her walls to be rebuilt
And for that I must carry this heavy burden of guilt
I will never hurt my baby girl again or take her trust in vain
And I’ll allow her the time she needs for healing all the pain
My one and only wish, the hope on which I will forever cling
Is that the bell of forgiveness my baby girl will one day ring
And the trust which was lost due to an act which is mine to be blamed
Will through many loving and patient efforts, at last graciously be regained